The following is a Top Ten list for events that occurred in the last two weeks on OLTL. I couldnt do the list last week because I was ill. I apologize to my one dear, devoted fan (Hi Mom! I need some money.), but the list is back and in no particular order, here goes:
10. Whats with Seth? Am I supposed to care about him? Why do I get the feeling that hes hiding some big secret connection with a Llanviewer, or that he is plotting revenge on someone in town? I hate when TPTB introduce characters shrouded in mystery. It almost always comes off as hokey and stupid. Granted, Seth is not hogging airtime, wears REAL poor people clothes, and is gradually shown with other characters while he works, but why not just state his motives up front? Didnt GH do this with Carly? I wasnt a big GH fan back then, but Im pretty sure the audience knew right away that she was Bobbies daughter and that she planned on getting even with her. Its not like well lose our interest if we know what Seth is doing in town. We will lose our interest if this turns into a 5 time a day habit of Seth saying, He/Shewill pay for what theyve done to me!
9. Speaking of repetitive dialogue...... can one of the writers PLEASE comeup with variations on Ive got to tell someone about that night! forJenn. Its becoming ridiculous. None of the Rappapr!cks are immune from this, but Jenn seems to be saying it the most. Why cant the writers look in a thesaurus for different ways to say I, or tell, or someone. Better yet, they should have Jenn say her lines in different languages each day. That way, itll seem like shes saying something different since we wouldnt understand her, but she still has the same dialogue.
8. I hope Will dies soon. I never could tolerate Will the Human Hemorrhoid, but his faults have been magnified with the new writers aboard, which gives me hope that hell either leave town or DIE! Im hoping that hes killed off, but Ill be happy with him leaving town. I cant stand his sanctimonious, Kale Brownes Sam-ish behavior. Hes better than Vega, Jenn cant talk to Vega, Jess cant talk to Vega, Jess cant talk to her mom about them, Jess must be home at all times of the day so he can attempt sexual intercourse with her. Whatever! Its becoming ridiculous and needs to all end in Wills untimely, gruesome, onscreen death.
7. Are daytimes bestest and most favoritest couple re-engaged? I skipped over the scenes with Bo and Lamie, as played by BoBo and The Dar, but something makes me think their engagement is back on. Why? When will TPTB realize that NO ONE GIVES A DAMN! Blamie is one of the worst pairings Ive ever seen on any show, daytime, nighttime, or late-night porn. They just SUCK! Whose bright idea was it to pair a boring, half-comatose actor with a boring, half-comatose actress? Putting them together just results in a completely comatose audience!
6. Viki, Niki, Wiki, and the gang come home and the first thing the galswant to do is jump Benders Neanderthal bones? Further proof of the destruction of Viki! The first thing Viki wouldve done is contact Jessica and make sure she was okay, and tell her that she herself was now fine, regardless of Bens reassurance. Even though theyre not onscreen anymore, shed even call Kevin and Joey to let them in on her ordeal. Instead, Blondie, the eighth wonder alter wants to go to bed with Dr. Soprano, Bartender at Large. The one good part about theBlendie reunion was the Gabby/Viki scenes. Im happy that the writers are using history to display the animosity Viki feels towards Gabrielle, who I just LOVE!
5. Teas coming back. My aunts uncles cousins mothers best friends sisters husbands fathers stepchilds dog walker is married to a production assistant at OLTL. The news was passed along to me via this intricate network of people. I cant give out much, but what I can tell you is that TPTB will not delve into what flavor of aspic, or what kind of toilet paper Tea prefers, but that she will share many scenes with the McIverappasons spoiler ahead as their killer! This way, EVERYBODY will love Tea, no question!
4. Gary Tomlin was somewhat correct... In one of the soap magazines summer previews, GT stated that LL and HBS shared so much chemistry in upcoming scenes (namely in the jailhouse) that even crew members were hollering for those two to kiss. I wouldnt go that far, but I actually wouldnt have minded a smooch between the two. Why? Because I cant really see LL as Sam. I know he is, but I hate Sam, and cant go for a Nora/Sam re-do, no matter who plays Sam. Instead, when I see LL, I see Greg Nelson. For some reason, my mind wants me to think that this is really Greg pretending to be Sam, who was a buddy of his from long ago. Sam was really blown to bits, and Greg was there and vowed to him that he will take over his life and watch over his family. With this convoluted story firmly entrenched in my mind, I can watch Nora and Sam do just about anything. LL and HBS actually DO look good together and have chemistry!
3. This may not be popular, then again I couldnt care less, but I actually liked the Sister Todd scenes. I dont think they were as harmful to Todds character as people claimed. It was just an idiotic way for him to get to see Blair. Hes done plenty of idiotic things over the past three or so years. This is just something else to add to the list. What made the scenes so great for me were the inclusion of Addie and Sister Michael Marie. No one can deny that Todd was happy to see Addie and that Roger and Pamela worked great together. Even better was his chemistry with the old nun, Sister Michael Marie. I cant remember the name of the actress who played her, but she was hilarious. I want her to stay on the show as a possible love interest for Asa!
2. My girl Roseanne is about to turn to voodoo to get her way! I loveit! The spoilers show that shell get her hands on some love potion for Antonio and a voodoo doll for either RJ or Kelly (I say go for Kelly!). The doll is fine, but why a love potion for Antonio? What she should do is get a potion that turns..... [censored. Anyone wishing to find out SG's idea for Antonio should email SG at the email address found at the bottom of the page. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to fill you in]. Now thats revenge!
1. As much as Rae annoyed me this week, I still love her. Who told her it was any of her business to give Asa hell for marrying Gabrielle? I know Renee still loves him, but she did want a divorce, even when he wanted to reunite. Its too late to bitch now. But, Renee is her friend and Rae will stick up for her, so she gave it to Asa and he gave right back. I loved him calling her a dog and Fido! She deserved it (I still love you Rae!) Even better were her scenes with Hank. I could tell once Hank showed up at Raes door that TPTB were testing the chemistry with Linda Dano and Nathan Purdee. It seemed fine to me, much better than that between Rae and John, whos leaving soon anyway. Hank is in DESPERATE need of a woman, and Rae, well, she has spiky hair, so I guess theyll be fine. Personally, I think Hank and Carlotta should reunite, but then thatll just give TIIC the opportunity to backburner two characters for the price of one, so I can see how the Hank/Rae possible pairing has its merits.
**Hate mail, love letters, and all other types of email concerning this TOP TEN should be directed